Everyone needs help sometimes

If this touches your heart please visit www.giveitforward.com/aprilshome.
Let me tell you a little about me.  My name is April and I have 3 wonderful kids, a loving husband, and a challenged dog.  In 2010 I fell 8 times in 1 week and thought I broke my arm.  So I went to the emergency room where they x-rayed it and did a number of other tests on me.  The doctor came in and said your arm is not broke but will you walk down the hall and back for me.  I thought that was weird but I did it.  Then he said if you were in my bar I would not serve you and I said I have not been drinking.  He said I know and I think you need to see a neurologist.  So I got a referral and went to see one here in Bellingham, WA.  After seeing several more doctors each one with more blood work.  I even had to have a spinal drip, CAT scan, MRI, some heart test, and a blood patch done.  They got me a referral to Seattle Washington to the university hospital.  I went up to Seattle to see what they might think was wrong with me.  After going through my medical history and having me walk up and down the hall.  He gave me a list of possible things I might have and told me to look them up and see which ones I think might fit.  I spent hours looking each one up and then as I read about Freideich’s Ataxia I knew that was what I had.  A few days had past and my doctor called me from Seattle to see if I had any luck.  I told him that I thought it was FA and he said that was the one he was going to test for first.  I went back to Seattle to have the test done and about a week later just after my 28^th birthday, he call and said my test was in.  It was confirmed I had FA.  As I read more and more I thought this cannot be what I have.  I did not want to face the fact that I was dying.  I guess no one really wants to face that.  I was glad I have my family to help me through it.  For some of you that do not know Freideich’s Ataxia is a terminal condition.  Freideich’s ataxia is an autosomal recessive inherited disease that causes progressive damage to the nervous system, resulting in symptoms ranging from gait disturbance to speech problems; it can also lead to heart disease and diabetes.  Freideich’s ataxia results from the degeneration of nerve tissue in the spinal cord, in particular sensory neurons essential (through connections with the cerebellum) for directing muscle movement of the arms and legs. The spinal cord becomes thinner and nerve cells lose some of their myelin sheath (the insulating covering on some nerve cells that helps conduct nerve impulses).  It has been almost 3 years and I am getting worse.  The other day I thought my brain told my arms to move when I was trying to open a dresser drawer and instead my head flung forward and I hit my head on the dresser.  We have been trying to move closer to an Ataxia hospital and found a cute little town in Benson, AZ.  I was trying to look for something that we could afford to live in and I came across this house.  As I looked through the pictures of the house, I could see my family there.  It is a fixer-upper but is the perfect place for my big family.  We tried to get a loan and found out that they would not count my husband’s income because when we move he will not have that income.  So all they could go on was mine.  I get disability and that does not pay much.  Even with my money the bank said I did not have enough credit history for them.  So I talked with my grandmother and she told me about this page and here I am asking for help.  I try really hard to help so many people from giving them places to stay to watching their kids.  I am hoping that everyone who reads this has a big heart and can help a little.

 

To my friend

So my next blogs are going to be some of my peoms I have been working on.  I like to write and I have been writing poems for people.  This one was for my neighbor when she needed a pick me up.  Let me know what you think.

 

When I look at you

I see so much

You help me out

when times are tough

You reach your hand out

just for me

You let me vent idioticly

your always wise

and know what to say

You lift me up to see the day

You are pretty and you are strong

Even when the worlds wrong

Remember this everyday

It will help wash away the pain

 



What happened

So I am now alone once again raising 3 kids on my own.  I have ataxia and sometimes I have to use a cane or walker.  I don't have a problem with it but I found out that my spouse thinks it is funny that I have to use them.  I have been sitting and doing allot of thinking.  Why would the person I thought loved me for better or worse, laugh at me for being disabled.  I did not choose to be this way and I can't change it.  How could he laugh because of something I can't control.  I wish I new what to do?  I get to sit and wonder while he is out doing god knows what with his friends.  All I want to do is dig a hole and crawl into it.  I apparently have bad taste in people.  This is marriage 2 for me and you think by now I would be a better judge but I'm not.  I realize everyone has there own problems and most of them can be worked through but how do you work on something when they keep doing it.  How do you work on stuff when the other person does not want too?  I will admit I have done my share of bad things and I have learned from them.  I am not the same person I was when I did the bad thing.  At some point you have to look at your life and ask yourself is this who I want to be?  Well is it???  So here is my method to change. 

1. write down everything you want to change.
2. now put them in order of what you want to change first.
3. now take them and write them on flash cards.
4. take the first one and write what you need to do to accomplish that first goal.
5. when you have done the first one move on to the next card.

I know it seems easy but it is really hard.  When you write down your goals you are more likely to fallow through on them.  In order to change you have to want to.  No one can make you change the steps are up to you.  If you have anything to add let me know.  Remember POSITIVE THOUGHTS EQUAL POSITIVE RESULTS.

Baking dreams #1

So over the last few weeks OK months I have been trying to bake new stuff.   Well lets say some were better than others.  I got these two recipes out of the cooking club magazine and now I can not find the magazine to tell you what they were called.  I hope you can find them by the pictures cause they were good.

                                                                                           This one was a white marshmallow crust whit whipped cream filling Topped with strawberries. 

it was so good but the crust took three times to make and it did not turn out like the picture at all.  Sometimes you have to try over and over to get it right.  I gave up at three and it still was not right.  We did eat everything I made but some were better than others.  In case you did not get the memo I made the one to the left but I bet the right one tastes better. LOL

So the above picture is the one I made and to the right is the picture in the book.  It is a 4 layer strawberry filled cake.  They did white frosting and I did Chocolate because I could not get the white frosting thick enough to stay on  the cake.  Surprisingly I only had to do the cake part once.  It was so good between every layer is a layer of strawberries and the middle layer is whipped cream and strawberries. 

I had a lot of fun making both of these and if I could find the recipes I would share them.  I got them out of the cooking club magazine and love to try there stuff.  My stuff might not look like the picture but they sure do taste good.  Well that's it for today.  Hope your day is filled with the joys of life.

Poems number 1

The before picture of my Granny

So this is going to be a short one but at least I am posting right!!!  I enjoy writing and love poems so here is some of my poems well at least one if you want more your should follow me and read more. LOL  A few years ago my sister gave me a poem about ataxia that made everyone cry for Christmas.  It was the perfect gift.  I m not going to put that poem here but I will tell you the name and who it is by.  It is so good you should look it up.  It is called HOW WILL II DANCE BY SHERRY-ANN BROWN.  I love it and because I had just found out I had Ataxia that year it was perfect.  Anyways the next year I decided I was going to write my granny Anna a poem.  It took allot and my kids helped.  I liked it and when she read it she cried.  So here it is.

you make it look so easy

you make it look so fun

and even know your busy

your job is never done

with calls and fax and emails

your always on the go

and even at your age

your energy's not low

They say with age comes wisdom

and you must have allot

cause every time I look at you

your always at the top

your accomplishments are remarkable

your wisdom never stops

you take your life to the fullest

you attitude just pops

I know they are not the best but they do come from the heart and isn't that the point in writing poems. On a different note I just got asked to be a Bridesmaid.  I have never been one so there is a first time for everything.

Always a Bride never a Bridesmaid.   LOL  To the right is while she is reading the above poem.  I love you granny.

The above picture was took in Seattle, Washington.  We were doing the Walk and Roll for Ataxia 2011.  We go every year and look forward to seeing new people.  Please join us for this wonderful event.  If you want to know when and where let me know.





Grab a Shovel, It's Getting Deep in Here: 4/18/2012

Grab a Shovel, It's Getting Deep in Here: 4/18/2012:        Tonight I start with my picture of the day.  A picture I actually took today!  This is on Commercial Street in downtown Bellingh...

My year wiser

So yesterday I turned 30 years old.  WOW right what an age to write about.  We had a little party at the house with mostly family and a few friends.  I got lots of cool stuff like Chippendale's tickets, thank you granny. I got a new well new to me freezer from my  hubby and money money money from everyone.  People put allot of pressure on turning 30 and I was really bummed to be that old.  well we will use wise not old.  I really did not ever want to turn this wise but as the years go on I guess you have to.  I have done allot of changing this year.  I quit smoking, I got married, and of course got a little wiser. Lol.  I can't  believe how wise I really am, my kids are growing to fast for me and life is just set on fast. 
My granny and  uncle are taking me to my Seattle appointment on Friday and the my friend and I get to booze it up at the Chippendale's on Saturday. 

Going back to my Seattle appointment:  I have Friedreich's Ataxia and got diagnosed 2 years ago. I go to the university of Washington hospital every 6 months to see how I am progressing.  So far I have been going pretty slow but this time I have a feeling it is not going to be slow.  I have been having more difficulty with my legs, they don't always do what my head tells them to.  As I am typing my hand sporadically slam down on the keyboard.  So my hands are not doing well either.  I was hoping that I would have a few more years till I got bad but that does not mean I wont fight it every step of the way. 

Now for the Chippendale's part.  I have been to the show at the silver reef casino the last 2 years.  This year makes 3 years and I so can't wait to go.  What woman would not want to go and have a girls night with booze, guys, and gambling.  This year I am taking my friend/ neighbor.  She turned 21 in January so this will be her first strip show.  I am so glad I get to be a part of it.  Well that is all I have for now.  Thank you for being apart of my year wiser