What happened

So I am now alone once again raising 3 kids on my own.  I have ataxia and sometimes I have to use a cane or walker.  I don't have a problem with it but I found out that my spouse thinks it is funny that I have to use them.  I have been sitting and doing allot of thinking.  Why would the person I thought loved me for better or worse, laugh at me for being disabled.  I did not choose to be this way and I can't change it.  How could he laugh because of something I can't control.  I wish I new what to do?  I get to sit and wonder while he is out doing god knows what with his friends.  All I want to do is dig a hole and crawl into it.  I apparently have bad taste in people.  This is marriage 2 for me and you think by now I would be a better judge but I'm not.  I realize everyone has there own problems and most of them can be worked through but how do you work on something when they keep doing it.  How do you work on stuff when the other person does not want too?  I will admit I have done my share of bad things and I have learned from them.  I am not the same person I was when I did the bad thing.  At some point you have to look at your life and ask yourself is this who I want to be?  Well is it???  So here is my method to change. 

1. write down everything you want to change.
2. now put them in order of what you want to change first.
3. now take them and write them on flash cards.
4. take the first one and write what you need to do to accomplish that first goal.
5. when you have done the first one move on to the next card.

I know it seems easy but it is really hard.  When you write down your goals you are more likely to fallow through on them.  In order to change you have to want to.  No one can make you change the steps are up to you.  If you have anything to add let me know.  Remember POSITIVE THOUGHTS EQUAL POSITIVE RESULTS.